His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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