so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
