Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
