Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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