There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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