I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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