the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
