its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
