do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
