Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
