I cannot find my penis.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Green mimosas i think yes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize