i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
should my penis look like a turkey
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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