Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
