we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
