Farmville is her only friend.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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