i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
