I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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