Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
