He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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