I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
