I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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