Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
