In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
