brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
