Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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