We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
