I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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