new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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