Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So many bounce houses so little time
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
