R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
