I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
