I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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