1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
