Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
