i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
