Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
