Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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