whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
