i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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