She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
