then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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