this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
