I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
