I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
