Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
