He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
