Say something about gay babies.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
