like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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