Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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