I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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