I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
