omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you win again, gameday.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
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Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion