So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
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whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.