Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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(949): View more from California

the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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(712): View more from Iowa

He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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