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• (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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• (516): View more from New York

  All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.

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• (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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• (510): View more from California

  Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog

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• (941): View more from Florida

  You know i'm the father figure

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this

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• (585): View more from New York

  High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting

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