dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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