It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just want nice things and good sex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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