I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
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