Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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