Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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