I am puke
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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