she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
