garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
