I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
