dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
