Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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