Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
