Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
