it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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